that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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