i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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