You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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