do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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