yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize