i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
