Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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