So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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