I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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