i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
