he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We are all done wearing pants today
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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