she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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