Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need moral support for this bender
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
