I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
