You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize