I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
