She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
