bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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