belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize