It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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