Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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