Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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