definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
