While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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