Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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