u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
