I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize