do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
