i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
