um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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