i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
