I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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