I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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