I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
