It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
