And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
