Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
