Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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