Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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