Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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