how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
