What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
