This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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