Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize