I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize