I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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