ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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