Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
