I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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