he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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