Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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