i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
