why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
