ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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