Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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