drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
