i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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