I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize
