I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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