I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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