Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize