@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
