Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
There's even glitter on my cock...
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