would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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