Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
