can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
