The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
