he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
