she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize