How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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