I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
