I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
